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I had dinner, well more like a snack with a friend this evening. We’ve known each other thirty years. Our conversation started simply enough, but some how took a familiar turn for me, and it made be think some things. The conversation pinged on my somewhat sensitive patient Achilles heel. I offer up the following thoughts.

Being sick sucks, having a great family and friends, a job you love, a life you ...

Got a call from Proton Center at 9:30A to let me know that the Proton machine is down, could I get to Photon at 10A? I was actually sleeping when they called (that’s what I am supposed to be doing according to my doctor…resting), and no way was I going to be able to make it over there in a half hour. Second choice please? They tell me that they have an ...

The locksmith called at 10:45…”could I meet him at the apartment building in a half an hour?” That seemed like a no-brainer. ”No problem” I said, “and while you’re changing the locks, I’ll wait at the Starbucks”. I packed my laptop and about 15 minutes later we (me and my laptop), are off to the apartment. It’s a quick jaunt or so I thought. This short six block walk with my laptop ...

This is the best ceiling ever. Over the last 18 years since I had my first surgery in 1990, I have stared at many ceilings. Some ceilings cracked, some not, different colors, acoustic tile, fans, beams, moldings, air-conditioner vents, recessed lighting, all different types of lighting fixtures. I’ve thought about taking pictures of all the ceilings that I ‘ve had to stare at over the years…thought it would make a funny ...

The ahness of home. I think about going to the hotel on Monday and it makes me giddy.

I walk up to the third floor, walk down to the ground floor, walk to Proton, walk back, shop, unpack, travel to and from Boston, and radiate…. this is what I do.

My doctor told me after my session on Friday, that I may be doing too much, that I should consider staying in Boston on the weekend…that the traveling may be contributing to my exhaustion and my general state of unwellness…that what I’m going ...

I’ve peaked,…I’m able to look over the mountain and see the other side. It’s downhill from this point on; from now on I will have completed more Proton sessions than I have left to complete. On the other side of the mountain, I’ve found my energy. Knowing I have less distance to go than I’ve already traveled has renewed me. I even feel slightly less sick today, don’t know if it’s ...

Today was my worst day yet. Today was the first day since I’ve started Proton Therapy that I found myself wondering if I could make the walk to the hospital. It’s three/four blocks away and yet it may as well be a mile. Three/four weeks ago, three/four blocks was nothing. The only thought that rallies my spirit is that Mr. Dubenschmeimer must be feeling as lousy as I’m feeling.

My friend Eve ...

I’m thinking as hard as Mondays are, Tuesdays are the hardest days. Even though Monday is a travel and radiate day, I’m coming off Sunday, which is a day of resting, and relaxing in my own home, which does make it a bit easier. On Tuesdays I feel sick because I’m lonely, and lonely because I’m sick. I have friends that are with me, and who visit…it’s not about that, it’s about not ...

Oh boy, it’s radiation/traveling Monday again. My friend Lauren has volunteered for service this morning. My appointment at Proton isn’t until 6:10P, that’s the latest its ever been, and I’m going to take advantage of this by deciding to leave home a bit later in the morning. Lauren and I leave at 11A. I’ve only known Lauren for a year or so, but she’s one of those friends you meet ...