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Lesson 11 Over my 19 years as a patient, I have had a doctor strangely come to my bedside and cry, I had another only return my calls at 11:30 at night, another told me we would be seeing each for the rest of my life, only to then have a follow up conversation with […]

To those looking from the outside in, my story may seem to be a survival story…and it is, but it’s much more. My story is also a success story. A survivor is someone who continues to live or exist despite an ordeal or circumstances. A success story is having a positive outcome. We mostly hear […]

Last Thursday, almost seven months to the day that I had completed my last radiation treatment, Jon and I headed to Boston for my six-month (more like seven-month) follow up. What we were hoping to hear was that there had been no tumor growth in that time. The months in between radiation and now have […]

“Our expectations were too high”. “It was better than we expected.” “It’s not everything I expected it to be”. “It went beyond my expectations”. Then there is Expectation’s brother “counting on”. “I counted on you being there”. “Don’t count on me”, or the opposite “count me in”. During this summer when I was driving back […]

In the poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling, there is this line…”If you wait and not be tired by waiting… yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it”. And so I wait. It’s been a month since my last radiation treatment. I feel better than I felt a month ago, but I have a ways […]

Before I had surgery last October, my voice sounded like Minnie Mouse, and I felt as though I spoke a bit like Elmer Fudd. I had difficulty swallowing which made every meal an adventure. Seven months after surgery I felt as though I had made quite a bit of improvement. I knew that the tumor […]

Jon, Rachel and I left Port Washington at about 10A for my 3:30P appointment. I went armed with ice paks, blanket, pillow and hot tea (for my cold). This is the day we’ve been waiting for…for seven weeks, but really for more like 18 years. This day will be especially long; not only will it […]

My session is at 7:30A today. Jon cleared out the apartment yesterday. We pack up our stuff to leave the amazing Liberty Hotel, we check out around 10:30A and hit the road. It almost feels like the end…but it’s not…it’s a false sense of completion. Today would have been my last day, but I need […]

Thursday…the thirty third session…the second Photon session of the week (I still have another one to go this week…universe give me strength)…these firewall creating sessions are especially tough. I do very little today because little is all I can do. I want this week to be over. I want this to be over. I want […]

Jon and I checked out of Beacon House and into the Liberty Hotel for the last two days of the last full week of my last few sessions…and today is my last Proton session ever…a day to celebrate. No more mask. As I lay on the table in my usual immovable strapped to the table […]