I almost can’t help myself, I’ve been living this way for so long; funny thing is that until only recently I thought everyone lived this way. I was talking to a friend of mine about all the things I’ve been doing…this is a long list of things, partially because of habit (I’ve always been a person who feels best when I’m doing a lot of things), and partially because I’m a person who has NOT always been able to do the things I want to do when I want to do them…not everyone gets to know that experience. I admit it’s overwhelming at times, even brings me to tears, because I don’t know at what point I may not have the energy I need to do what I want to do, and that can be exhausting. It’s not that I don’t think if I were to put things off until tomorrow I wouldn’t be here to do them, it’s just that I do know that it’s certainly a possibility.
My friend said to me, as any friend would say to their friend in tears “why don’t you relax, take it easy, you can do it later, tomorrow, the next day?” This is something that someone like myself doesn’t ever really think of because my rest(s) have come when I’m not the one choosing them-to me they seem to come when my doctors have chosen them- they have come out of necessity. I feel this want-this need even, to take supreme advantage of the time that I CAN be a doer, even if it can sometimes be a bit of struggle to do what I can physically do-because I know all too well what it feels like not to be able to do what you’d like to do when you’d like to do it. This knowledge is…what do they say “both a blessing and a curse”. However, it’s my feeling that this bit of knowledge isn’t such a bad thing for everyone to keep in mind.
So as you’re thinking of that, think of some of these things, think about the people you haven’t reached out to, that you want to-but haven’t, the art class you may want to take, but don’t think you have time to take, the old storage container that needs to be cleared out because you’re sure that the something you’ve needed or wanted to have is inside it, but you haven’t had the time to look in it…for 3 years, the promises you’ve made, but haven’t kept, the calls you need to make. The cavity you need to fill before it becomes a root canal, the doctor’s appointment you’ve been meaning to make. Think about who you’ve been meaning to thank. Who do you want to say I love you to? There are always going to be things that I don’t get to, but I try. I have a list…and of course there are priorities, there are only so many hours in a day, I know that, but I remember the things I can’t get to because I write them down on the list. If you have to put off to tomorrow, what you can’t do today…write it down on your list so you can remember those things tomorrow. Today is a good day to start.
NOV
2010